


In My Defense

by jiminie



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Chatting & Messaging, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Romance, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 05:01:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15856719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiminie/pseuds/jiminie
Summary: Honestly, it’s not Seongwoo’s fault that everyone thinks he’s avoiding Jihoon. He isn’t. It’s just sometimes the group chat gets a little noisy and Seongwoo gets a little tired and might press the mute button, well, a few times without really checking what they’re talking about. So when the third person in one morning (Daniel’s text messages about it don’t count because as much Seongwoo loves Daniel, he often talks a load of shit, which Seongwoo is pretty good at tuning out) uses it as a fucking ice breaker, he’s starting to get annoyed.





	In My Defense

Honestly, it’s not Seongwoo’s fault that everyone thinks he’s avoiding Jihoon. He isn’t. It’s just sometimes the group chat gets a little noisy and Seongwoo gets a little tired and might press the mute button, well, a few times without really checking what they’re talking about. So when the third person in one morning (Daniel’s text messages about it don’t count because as much Seongwoo loves Daniel, he often talks a load of shit, which Seongwoo is pretty good at tuning out) uses it as a fucking ice breaker, he’s starting to get annoyed.

 

"What?"

 

"You heard me," says Guanlin with a perfectly schooled scowl as they stretch, "you’re being heartless dick. You could at least say something to him."

 

"Is anyone going to explain-" Seongwoo tries to reply but Woojin cuts across him.

 

"Hey, man maybe he’s going to do it at the party tonight - I think Jihoon would appreciate the apology more face to face."

 

"Apology - what? Party? The fuck is going on?" Seongwoo hisses, "You guys are making no sense."

 

"Oh, we’re making no sense?" Guanlin scoffs, "right, sure."

 

"Yeah, you are - all of you guys are being little bitches - so Jihoon’s upset with me right? Maybe he’ll tell me why seeing all of you guys are being cryptic as fuck," Seongwoo snarls. This is the only football practise Seongwoo gets before the end of summer and the whole team is already on his case for no reason? Fuck. That.

 

"Wait - you don’t know what you’ve done?" ask Sungwoon incredulously, "You’ve got to be kidding."

 

Seongwoo is about to reply that he most certainly is not kidding but there’s a sharp shrill whistle that permeates his eardrums, making him and the rest of the squad, who are all stretching on Samuel’s counts of ‘1, 2, 3, 4’, wince in pain.

 

"Come on, you bunch of jackasses, pick up the pace," barks Coach Kim from where he’s standing across the other side of the pitch, thermos in hand and wrapped inside his thick coat to keep out the un-augustish August wind that’s dominated the morning and left the football squad shivering, "I want 5 laps. From all of you. Two more if there’s any lip."

 

"Yes, Coach," they chorus and while on any other day, Seongwoo would groan along with the others and hang in the middle of the pack, but today he’s really not in the mood so instead he sprints off to fall into step with Minhyun who thankfully remains silent - if one more person tries to tell him how he’s ruined Jihoon’s life without telling him how, Seongwoo is going to fucking lose it, along with his chance at the captaincy next season, probably.

 

Thankfully, the whole of practise passes without further incident - and if Guanlin tackles him harder than usual Seongwoo is ready to be the bigger person and ignore the kid. Seeing as he’s halfway in love with Jihoon it makes sense that he’s so pissed. But what doesn’t make sense is why anyone is pissed at him in the first place when before everyone was fine.

 

Which is why it’s probably the group chat’s fault. It’s the only way Seongwoo can think he’s been ignoring anyone, let alone Jihoon. The thing is, Seongwoo’s been ignoring everyone on there, essentially, so why the fuck has Jihoon been singled out? It makes no sense.

 

Yes, Seongwoo likes his friends, but no, he doesn’t really want to hear every single thought Daehwi has all day, every day, for the whole of summer. If Seongwoo was going to ignore anyone (which he hasn’t) it would probably be Daehwi, simply because there’s a lot to ignore. But Jihoon - Seongwoo kind of has a lot of respect for Jihoon, always has really. He just does his thing and looks good doing it, and Seongwoo, who’s internal demon’s favourite attack is to tell him he’s doing everything wrong all the time and embarrassing himself with every word (the extrovert’s curse), envies that. Jihoon only seems to talk online when he actually has something to say - but again, Seongwoo can’t say he’s paid that much attention.

 

It’s been a busy summer and he’s not just saying that. Camping trips with his dad in the countryside, and then family holidays with what seemed like half the local area that he was apparently related to, took up nearly all his time and definitely all of his energy. And if he doesn’t want to use his remaining energy to narrate those same camping trips and family holidays, sue him. Honestly, that might be easier to handle than all this drama.

 

Especially if this involves receiving a football to the face every five minutes.

 

"Sorry," says Woojin cheerfully, as he jogs past Seongwoo, who’s been left clutching at the shoulder he used to barely deflect the ball away from his face, as he goes to retrieve his missile.

 

"No problem." Seongwoo barely conceals his annoyance in his bitter smile. This is getting dumb. Woojin is playing on his team, for fuck’s sake. ‘Everyone is pissed at Seongwoo’ day seems to have spread into being a national fucking holiday.

 

When Coach Kim blows the final whistle at the end of practise, Seongwoo is hot, sweaty, tired and pissed the fuck off. He didn’t realise how many of those in his squad were ready to drop at a moment’s notice for Park fucking Jihoon. And he still doesn’t know why. A part of him is tempted to not bother with finding out. His friends can be dicks if they like, he’ll just become rich and famous to spite them and when they come asking for money he can throw a football at them.

 

"Or," Jisung, his neighbour and past baby sitter, present agony aunt, says over their shared garden fence when he gets home, Seongwoo’s back still slick with sweat, "you could ask them about what it is specifically that they think you’ve done, so you can explain why you didn’t."

 

"But I shouldn’t even have to!" Seongwoo near shouts, startling Mrs Jung’s cat prowling through his dad’s dying sunflowers, heads bent ashamedly, "I haven’t done anything- they should have told me that Jihoon was saying shit about me instead of snaking me and abusing me with footballs."

 

"Are you more upset that everyone seems to be pissed at you, or that your friends ‘snaked you’ and believe what Jihoon has been saying, rather than trusting your character?"

 

"They should trust me," Seongwoo says, not sulking at all because he’s 17 and mature.

 

"So is this more about your pride being hurt? It’s understandable," Jisung says with a gentle smile that makes Seongwoo feel a sudden wave of anger.

 

"That’s a conclusion to leap too," Seongwoo says icily, unlocking his door, "you act like I don’t even care about Jihoon’s issue with me."

 

"Do you?"

 

Does he?

 

His instinctual reaction is no, not really. Jihoon and he have separate orbits; they only vaguely cross into each other’s lives. Seongwoo is pretty sure he doesn’t know three things about Jihoon.

 

But, says a small voice in the back of his head, he can’t deny he’s always been a little, well, fascinated with Jihoon. He always thought they had a sort of understanding. For the longest time, ever since Jaehwan in year 8 had said to himself during lunch between Jihoon and Seongwoo that his yoghurt was spicy, every time someone says something dumb, the kind of really dumb that flies under the radar but catches under Seongwoo’s skin - he knows he can rely on Jihoon for a perfect expression of humorous disgust, disbelief, or done-ness that he and Seongwoo apparently alone feel. They don’t really talk, but a part of Seongwoo feels proud when he impresses Jihoon or makes him laugh - like he’s met some kind of standard, different from Jisung’s warm encouragement, Jaehwan’s insane giggles, or Daniel’s easy grins.

 

So yeah, is pride has been wounded, he thinks as he flops onto his bed, but not just by all his friends turning on him. The fact that it’s Jihoon who’s his accuser; it makes him feel like he really has done something wrong. But he knows he hasn’t. And now he can’t help being hurt and confused and he feels dumb and kind of pissed still and the worst part is how it’s all rolling together in his stomach and he just feels awful.

 

He needs to solve this.

 

And what was that shit about a party tonight?

 

Seeing as his friends seem to be ready to eat his liver right now, Seongwoo figures the best course of action is to ask around outside of his inner circle - which may also show how far the bullshit has spread - or at least ask someone who’s less likely to bite his head off and more likely to explain what the fuck is going on.

 

He considers his options. He could ask Ahn Hyeongseop - he always seems to know what’s going on all the time. But Seongwoo might just be adding fuel to the gossip fire there. Noh Taehyun might be a good option, seeing as he’s good friends with Sungwoon but has never really had time for the rest of them. But he also gives the impression he could and would stab Seongwoo through the neck at any given time and he doesn’t really want to try his luck today.

 

Which leaves him with Kim Jonghyun - Minhyun’s childhood best friend and the nicest person in the world. If anyone was really going to know what was going on, it would be Minhyun seeing as if Daehwi was the noisiest on the group chat, he was a close second. Minhyun tells Jonghyun pretty much everything and seeing as if anyone is going to have a level head in this situation it would be Jonghyun, he seems like he might be able to help Seongwoo out. And, more importantly, feel inclined to.

 

13:03

 

Ong Seongwoo: hey! I heard something about a party tonight - are you going?

 

There we go, nice and inconspicuous.

 

13:05

 

Kim Jonghyun: yeah I am

 

Well. That was unexpectedly blunt.

 

13:09

 

Kim Jonghyun: did you only find out about it today?

 

Okay, perhaps not all bridges have been burned.

 

13:09

 

Ong Seongwoo: aha yeah haven’t really been on the gc all summer

Ong Seongwoo: only catching up on stuff now lol

 

Kim Jonghyun: oh my god

 

Ong Seongwoo: ???

 

Kim Jonghyun: tell me ur not for real

 

Ong Seongwoo: I am though?? I just checked the gc every so often to  get rid of notifs tbh

 

Kim Jonghyun: have you not read any of it all summer

 

Ong Seongwoo: I think I stopped paying attention to updates when jaehwan was complaining abt some kid at the camp he was counselling

 

Kim Jonghyun: that was in july

Kim Jonghyun: that is a mess

 

Ong Seongwoo: hold on i’ll try and read through the updates

 

Kim Jonghyun: you can’t - you were kicked :/

 

Ong Seongwoo: what the fuck

 

Kim Jonghyun: I can’t add you back, it’ll just make things worse

Kim Jonghyun: plus it’ll take you forever to find what went down

Kim Jonghyun: give me a second

 

Ong Seongwoo: sure

 

Seongwoo’s mounting confusion only worsens with the barrage of screenshots Jonghyun sends a moment later

 

Kim Jonghyun: here you go

 

_________________________

 

08/07

 

18:46

 

Park Woojin: jihoooooooooooooooneth

 

Park Jihoon: what

 

Park Woojin: truth or dare

 

Park Jihoon: no

 

Park Woojin: come on y not

 

Park Jihoon: dont you have other people to annoy

 

Park Woojin: truth or dare

 

Park Jihoon: im not playing unless you go first

 

Park Woojin: …...how old are you

 

Park Jihoon: still older than you

Park Jihoon: truth or dare

 

Park Woojin: dare

 

Park Jihoon: dare you to send me that video of daniel and you singing waltzing matilda that you never let me see

 

Park Woojin: you’re a demon

Park Woojin: fine

 

Park Jihoon: xox

 

Park Woojin: cursedmatilda.mp4

 

Park Jihoon: thanking you

 

Park Woojin: truth or dare

 

Park Jihoon: truth

 

Park Woojin: chicken

 

Park Jihoon: or i just cant be bothered to jump in the fucking pool fully clothed

_________________________

 

A mental image of Jihoon lounging by some far off poolside, with a sardonic smile and those stupid retro sunglasses Minhyun got him for secret Santa that he insists on wearing, floods Seongwoo’s mind. It’s strange - he’s never really imagined Jihoon outside of school and group stuff but now that the picture is in head it’s almost addictive. Another thing he’s not supposed to see but now that he has he can’t look away.

_________________________

 

Park Woojin: …..who says that would have been your dare

 

Park Jihoon: truth. Or you forfeit.

 

Park Woojin: fine

Park Woojin: do you have a crush on anyone

 

Park Jihoon: basic

 

Park Woojin: i tried ok

Park Woojin: answer

 

Park Jihoon: yes

 

Park Woojin: omg who

 

Park Jihoon: truth or dare

 

Park Woojin: snake

Park Woojin: truth

 

Park Jihoon: chicken

 

Park Woojin: stfu

 

Park Jihoon: have you ever thought about making out with one of your friends

 

Park Woojin: what the fuck dude

Park Woojin: yes? I guess

 

Park Jihoon: cool

 

Park Woojin: cool?

 

Park Jihoon: what do you want me to say?

_________________________

 

Seongwoo feels far too much like a voyeur - reading this is like reading someone’s diary.

 

13:16

 

Ong Seongwoo: i’m so confused

Ong Seongwoo: why is this conversation happening on the gc?

 

Kim Jonghyun: just

Kim Jonghyun: read on

Kim Jonghyun: macduff

 

Ong Seongwoo: ,,,,,,sure

_________________________

 

Park Woojin: idk

Park Woojin: truth or dare

 

Park Jihoon: truth again I guess

 

Park Woojin: do you really not trust me to give you a good dare

 

Park Jihoon: you said it not me

 

Park Woojin: snake

Park Woojin: fine if we’re being like this

Park Woojin: who do you have a crush on

 

Park Jihoon: Error 404: Message not received

 

Park Woojin: you picked truth

 

Park Jihoon: I changed my mind - dare

 

Park Woojin: sure

Park Woojin: dare you to tell me who you have a crush on

 

Park Jihoon: I hate you

 

Park Woojin: you picked dare

 

Park Jihoon: shit ok

Park Jihoon: jfc

Park Jihoon: seongwoo

_________________________

 

Oh.

 

That is….. Not what Seongwoo was expecting. Like at all. Jihoon has always been really popular with girls and he’s had girlfriends before. He might be bi or something but still. Unexpected doesn’t cover it.

 

Because he’s bi for Seongwoo. Or however it works. He likes Seongwoo. Like for real

_________________________

 

Park Woojin: oh

Park Woojin: so are you like gay or something?

Park Woojin: cause if you are thats chill

Park Woojin: ur still my main dude

 

Park Jihoon: yeah bi lol

Park Jihoon: glad to know not even liking guys can release me from my main dude responsibilities

Park Jihoon: but seriously i appreciate it

 

Park Woojin: no problem :)

 

Kang Daniel: wait jihoon you’re bi

 

Park Jihoon: uh

Park Jihoon: what the fuck

 

Park Woojin: fuck is this the gc

 

Kang Daniel: i mean yeah lol

 

Park Woojin: shit im so sorry i thought this was our chat

 

Park Jihoon: i did too

Park Jihoon: i mean its my fault really lol

Park Jihoon: should’ve changed all my chat profiles back from ‘barney lovers anonymous’

 

Park Woojin: im so fucking sorry jihoon

 

Park Jihoon: it wasnt your fault it was an accident

 

Kang Daniel: if it helps

Kang Daniel: i know you didnt mean to come out now

Kang Daniel: but like its chill and we dont see u you any different and shit

 

Lai Guanlin: yeah we still love u

 

Park Jihoon: thanks

 

Ha Sungwoon: omg

Ha Sungwoon : i support u dude n that

Ha Sungwoon: but how did this happen

 

Park Jihoon: remember when guanlin changed all my chats to the same thing at minhyun’s last week?

Park Jihoon: i didnt change them back

Park Jihoon: so my chat with woojinnie and this gc have the same icon + name

 

Park Woojin: and i got confused

 

Hwang Minhyun: oh wow

Hwang Minhyun: but congrats dude!! Im proud of u for coming out!!

Hwang Minhyun: even if not intentionally lol

_________________________

 

13:39

 

Ong Seongwoo: so jihoon’s bi?

 

Kim Jonghyun: yeah

 

Ong Seongwoo: was not expecting that

Ong Seongwoo: but doesn’t explain why im being hazed

 

Kim Jonghyun: ,,,,,,,,

Kim Jonghyun: did you not read the part where he came out

Kim Jonghyun: and then you high key seemed to ignore him all summer

 

Ong Seongwoo: oh

 

Kim Jonghyun: and i know you didnt mean to

Kim Jonghyun: but it kinda makes you look like a dick dude

Kim Jonghyun: esp when this surfaced

 

Seongwoo braces for impact.

_________________________

 

26/07

 

19:11

 

Park Woojin: dude are u ok you seem p down lately

 

Park Jihoon: lmao what gave you that impression

 

Park Woojin: i follow ur private twitter dumbass

 

Park Jihoon: oh

Park Jihoon: lmao

 

Park Woojin: what is the truth

 

Park Jihoon: …………

Park Jihoon: fine

Park Jihoon: you know the whole ‘accidentally came out on the gc and high key revealed i like someone’ thing

 

Park Woojin: strangely enough, yeah

Park Woojin: someone’s not being an asshole about it are they?

 

Park Jihoon: nah everyone has been great about it

Park Jihoon: well everyone except yknow

Park Jihoon: seongwoo

_________________________

 

Something leaden congeals in Seongwoo’s heart and anchors it to the pit of his stomach.

_________________________

 

Park Woojin: oh shit

 

Park Jihoon: he’s been m.i.a ever since i came out

Park Jihoon: and i asked daniel who said that seongwoo has been really busy all summer

Park Jihoon: but even he found it found it weird that seongwoo dropped off the face of the earth the day i came out

Park Jihoon: and i get it if hes uncomfortable but like

Park Jihoon: its horrible

 

Park Woojin: shit

 

Park Jihoon: yeah

_________________________

 

Ong Seongwoo: shit

 

Kim Jonghyun: yeah

Kim Jonghyun: and this has time to circulate my guy

Kim Jonghyun: woojin put it on the gc without jihoon and now

Kim Jonghyun: everyone thinks you’re our friendly neighbourhood homophobe

 

Ong Seongwoo: how the shit am i gonna fix this

 

Kim Jonghyun: lmao ikr

 

Ong Seongwoo: not helpful

 

Kim Jonghyun: idk man maybe start by apologising

Kim Jonghyun: though i dont think you can text him

 

Ong Seongwoo: have i been blocked

 

Kim Jonghyun: lol yeah i think so

Kim Jonghyun: sorry

 

Ong Seongwoo: its fine

 

Kim Jonghyun: it could be worse

 

Ong Seongwoo: ……………….how?

 

Kim Jonghyun: everyone could have blocked you like woojin wanted us to

 

Ong Seongwoo: yeah that is worse

Ong Seongwoo: i guess i’ll just apologise to jihoon tonight

 

Kim Jonghyun: yeah that’s probably a good idea

Kim Jonghyun: texting started this mess tbh

 

Ong Seongwoo: damn straight

 

Kim Jonghyun: speaking of

Kim Jonghyun: how do you feel abt the whole crush thing

 

Now that’s a question.

 

Ong Seongwoo: i don’t know

 

The truth of the statement rings like a bell in the back of his mind and doesn’t stop, even as he struggles through a summer’s worth of holiday work in one afternoon, trying to ignore the brightening dregs of sunlight that summer still clings on to. He can’t drown out the electric feeling in his stomach, leaving him nervous and jumpy. Jihoon likes him. It seems unreal.

 

It still feels like a dream hours later as he showers off the cloying summer heat. He feels hyper awake and alert and while he hasn’t got a clue about what he’s going to say, he wants to see Jihoon. Maybe then this will feel like something that’s actually happening. Because Jihoon? Being into Seongwoo? He would laugh at the absurdity, but now that the thought has been looping around his head all day it makes his throat feel dry.

 

Through the thunder of the water he can hear his mum answering the door to Daniel, followed by Daniel refusing his mum’s offer of something to drink before sending Daniel upstairs, his creaking footfall coming to a stop just as Seongwoo finishes his hunt for underwear. There’s a knock.

 

"You decent?"

 

"Give me a second," Seongwoo says, pulling on his jeans, "decent as I get."

 

"So not at all?" Daniel grins as he opens the door, but his face falls, "dude, put a shirt on."

 

"Well that was part of the plan," Seongwoo says, rolling his eyes.

 

"Hurry up with the plan, then - we need to get going."

 

By the time they do leave (thirty minutes later, after a too-long conversation about Daniel’s grandmother’s health, courtesy of Seongwoo’s mum, followed by a shorter, but far more awkward conversation with Seongwoo’s dad, who arrived home just as they were leaving and felt the need to reassure them on how having fun now can still be a ‘sensible choice’- Seongwoo’s just about to ask what he means by that when Daniel nearly pushes him out the house) the sky’s only just beginning to darken fully, the rising moon casting long shadows. The light catches the bottles already lying on the front lawn of Sungwoon’s parents’ house while the thrumming bass line sends waves of giddiness through Seongwoo.

 

The heady air hits Seongwoo like a slap as he heads inside. Muttering something to Daniel about getting a drink, he beelines for the kitchen, trying to pretend the whispers and glares on his tail aren’t for him. After swiping a can of something from a cluster of them on the table, Seongwoo takes a breath. He needs to find Jihoon. Then this crazy public enemy bullshit can finally die.

 

But where to start. He should probably ask someone who’ll know where Jihoon is. And his luck is finally changing because entering the kitchen is the one person who will definitely know where he is.

 

"Why the fuck do you want to know?" Woojin sneers as soon as he asks.

 

"Look, I just want to apologise," the words sound like a lie to his own ears - is that really it? Is that how he's going to leave things - with just an apology? "And explain," he adds weakly.  
  
Woojin seems to size him up over his beer or whatever he's drinking that's helping to multiply his aggression, but after a long, cold second he sighs. "He's upstairs, ok? You best be fucking apologising."  
  
"Don’t worry, I really am," Seongwoo smiles weakly. Now fully threatened, he heads back through the kitchen into the hall, trying to not bump into any of the drunken girls stumbling out from the living room breathlessly.

 

Narrowly avoiding having his shirt drenched by a vodka cranberry, Seongwoo heads up the stairs. It’s better lit here, which helps him relax a little - the strange atmosphere from downstairs losing its intensity. He’s almost feeling calm, but  when he gets to the landing, he feels like he’s left his stomach at the bottom of the stairs. Because when Woojin said upstairs, he really only meant _upstairs_. Jihoon meets Seongwoo’s eyes from where he’s sat with some girls Seongwoo thinks he recognises from his history class, and Jinyoung, with a clear space left for Woojin. He looks nothing but surprised, which honestly could be worse and Seongwoo is taking what he can get tonight.

  
"Hey, Jihoon," he starts, sounding more confident than he feels, though he's not sure why he's so weak at the knees, "can we talk?" The silence is deafening.   
  
"Sure," says Jihoon breezily, calmly, as he gets to his feet. For a second Seongwoo feels like nothing’s happened at all, "shall we go outside? I think it’ll be quieter there."

 

Seongwoo doesn't trust himself to speak again and merely nods at Jihoon who leads him downstairs, through the crowds thrashing to the predetermined hits of the summer. He catches Jonghyun's eye from where he's sitting, Minhyun half in his lap, being accosted with drinks from Jaehwan. Jonghyun offers him an enthusiastic thumbs up which only makes him feel worse as he response with awkward semi-wave.  
  
Although Seongwoo hadn't even had the chance to take his jacket off, the shift from the humid interior to the cooling night air chills him a little and he shivers.  Next to him, Jihoon seems to feel the change even more so, with only his thin white shirt that seems to cling to his arms for protection as he leans his head back and rests against the wall with a thick sigh, Seongwoo shivers again.

  
"You wanted to talk"  Jihoon prods, face guarded, tired.  
  
"Yeah. Uh yeah, I wanted to apologize." Jihoon smiles bitterly to himself and opens his mouth to speak, "but not what you think I want to apologize for."  
  
Jihoon blinks.  
  
"Uh okay?"  
  
"Okay, yeah so - I'm sorry I didn't read your message earlier because I promise you, cross my heart and hope to die, the first time I knew anything about what happened was today. I didn't know you liked me until today." Everything feels like it's coming out of his mouth too fast, but he can't bring himself to look at Jihoon and check he's being understood - eyes instead focused on the cluster of kids smoking in the darkness at the end of the garden, "I really was busy all summer - some weeks I didn't have Wi-Fi at all and honestly I didn't want to hear about Daehwi's fungal infection or Jaehwan seeing a really fat bird on holiday." Jihoon laughs and the tension in Seongwoo's gut untwists a little. He smiles.  
  
"So yeah. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you or make you think I was homophobic or hated you or anything, fuck, I just-"  
  
"Apology accepted," Jihoon grins and the relief is coursing through Seongwoo must be sending him mad because he's pretty sure that's the best smile he's ever seen.  
  
"Good. Great. Thank you. And this is a bit shit but I'm also sorry because you're great and I appreciate it, but I don't like you."  
  
"Uh, I-"  
  
"Well shit no, not like that, I do like you, just not like that. Not like that, cause I think you're great and I think you have a great personality and everything-" Seongwoo cringes at his own words.  
  
"Great personality? Isn't that code for I'm not hot enough for you?" Jihoon smirks and Seongwoo can feel his ears heating.  
  
"Yeah that's it, not hot enough for me. Nothing to do with me being into girls."  
  
"Well then I think I should have another apology for you not finding me hot enough. It’s pretty rude."  
  
"Sure, let's make it a hat trick - I’m once again very sorry I don’t find you irresistibly hot. It’s a character flaw, I know.”

 

“Well I suppose you can’t help it,” Jihoon smiles, “we all have one.”

 

“Oh yeah? What’s yours?”

 

“Being irresistibly hot to everyone but Ong Seongwoo, aren’t you listening?” Jihoon smirks.

 

“Shut up,” Seongwoo smiles, shoving Jihoon a little with his shoulder. Jihoon just smiles.

 

“Shit, its cold out here.”

 

“Well done Sherlock.”

 

“Fuck off, it’s still August, the world has no right being cold. It’s homophobic.” Seongwoo laughs.

 

“Oh yeah how’s that going by the way?”

 

“The whole being bi thing?” Jihoon says with a knowingly raised brow, “pretty good so far.”

 

“Good,” Seongwoo says softly, all his nervous momentum finally coming to a standstill, “that’s good.”

 

“I’m still not out to my parents,” Jihoon confesses, voice warm and naked, “which is fucking me up a little, because I feel like I should have come out to them first. ‘Cause, you know - they’re my parents.”

 

“And at the same time, they’re your parents,” Seongwoo agrees, “ which makes it so much harder.”

 

“Yeah,” Jihoon says, his voice sounding faint, and he looks like he wants to say something else, but he laughs.

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing - just, ‘cross my heart and hope to die’?” Seongwoo’s ears burn.

 

“I was nervous, okay.”

 

“Nervous? What did you have to be nervous about?”

 

“You! This- this whole thing. Conversation.”

 

“I make you nervous?”

 

“Yeah, you do! You’re making me nervous now,” Seongwoo grins.

 

“Am I?” Jihoon smirks, “I’m very sorry.”

 

“No you’re not. But thank you for the apology. Makes me feel a little more equal.”

 

“Well you still have two in the bank,” Jihoon says with mock seriousness, “so maybe I’ll just surprise you with apologies from now on.”

 

“Why does that sound threatening?” Seongwoo laughs.

 

“Well, I’m just a very menacing person overall.”

 

“You’re literally shaking right now.”

 

“Oh,” Jihoon says, looking down at his goose pimpled arms, “I guess I am.”

 

“Do you want my jacket?” Seongwoo says, praying he doesn’t sound as awkward as he feels. Jihoon laughs.

 

“Ong Seongwoo rejecting me and then offering me his jacket all in one night,” he says, shaking his head, “thanks but I’m good.”

 

“Yeah, that’s bullshit,” Seongwoo smiles, already shrugging off his jacket, “what’s a jacket between bros?”

 

“I’ll accept the jacket as long as you never call us ‘bros’ again.”

 

“Deal,” Seongwoo grins as he drapes his jacket around Jihoon’s shoulders, “it suits you.”

 

“Well I am irresistibly hot,” Jihoon smiles, “nine times out of ten.”

 

“More like all but one in seven billion.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Sure, but only because I’m your only anomaly. I feel bad.”

 

“Bad enough to forget your heterosexuality?” Seongwoo laughs.

 

“Ah but then I’m not special anymore.” Jihoon snorts.

 

“Sure,” there’s a small, silence, “I reckon we should go inside. People will think you’ve killed me.”

 

“Well you best go and prove them wrong.”

 

“If I go alone, they’ll think I’ve killed you though.”

 

“Shit, you’re right - shall we go together?”

 

“Shut up, you sound like you’re asking me to prom.”

 

“Nah, if I was asking you to prom it would be much more dramatic.” Jihoon rolls his eyes.

 

“You’ve got that right. Come on, I’m still freezing, even with your jacket.”

 

“Well then I’m very sorry. Next time I’ll bring a better jacket for you to borrow.”

 

“Good. You better,” Jihoon says.

 

As the moonlight falls on the back of Jihoon’s head as he turns to head back inside, Seongwoo can’t help feeling like he’s stepped across some kind of line within himself - like he’s new again. And he can’t lie, it’s a nice feeling.

 

**Author's Note:**

> so i've been working on this for too long but here's my contribution to ongwink cause they need more love  
> i hope you enjoyed reading and please leave any comments or criticism you can cause i really appreicate it  
> thank u for reading - and thank u to claudi for reading this bullshit over at 1 am u the mvp


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